Crazy 2 weeks

Didn't want to update because i really had no 心情 to do so. Plus no time.

Abit tired to keep explaining to people where i have been and what i am doing.
Also not in the mood to make much small talk.

Yes, i apologize if i don't reply to msn or chat either.

Stuff has happened at home and i am just dealing. The last two weeks, i am pretty much in the 'just action - not thinking' mode. I think i can afford this little time to do some thinking now because we are no longer milling around trying to figure a way through and we have something concrete to embark on. Starting today.

So, if i still don't say much or don't make small talk, kindly understand.
心情不好，不想说话，应该不是罪吧？

Anyway, Wilk & I are OK and so's bbump. I guess that's already a blessing.

Alamak! 3 Years Oready!

Dearest B!

Time flies eh, and its been 3 years.

Just recounting the days last night, and i still found it amazing that:

1) We were friends for 5 years
2) Dated for the next 7 years
3) Married for 3 years after that.

That's 15 years of our lives together. If we had a kid when we first met (holy cow.. scandalous!!!), he/she would be a teenager by now! Instead, we were the guai guai kias and now then have little bump.

Okie, so life had been crazy on and off. We literally grew up together, both age-wise and "tummy-wise", and it hasn't been the easiest journey (friends could attest to that i think, and our families). But then, we perservered and seems like we are going to go the next step together, being parents! Scary isn't it?

Though we have only been married for 3 years but i don't think we can look back and not see those years before the wedding because, it seems like we were married a longer time than just 3. Just look at the number of endearments we have worn off over the years... mewmew, mm, xiongmewmew, xmm, mookmook, dearie, wifey, hubby, B, BB, etc etc etc... Till finally, it may be just.. 老伴，老太婆...

Both of us aren't the model husband model wife type of people, i know. But i think we can safely say, we are OUR type of people. I am crazy enough for you, and you are patient enough for me. And we make each other laugh... most of the time. :) We have drifted apart.. came together and entertained flitting thoughts of whether this would work, and before either of us knew it, it seemed to have.

B, i know i don't tell you this often (no.. not "I love you".. i say that almost everyday!) but i am really proud of you. I am also grateful for the changes and sacrifices that you have had to make for me (and now for little bump) though i wish that you didn't have to. You have always been the patient and more emotionally stable one between the two of us. And though i nag about your tendency to care about the feelings of every other people and disregarding your own (occasionally mine), i am proud that you are the big-hearted person that you are, which i can never quite do the same.

After all, you settled into those quirks my family has, eat the food my mother cooks and talk cock with my bros even while you know i struggled to do the same with yours. We are that different but you accepted me (and my village). It still amazes me how those aunties can just TALK to you when they don't even talk to me! Yes, you sometimes get abit rigid about certain things and values which i know i don't quite share nor understand but then, there would be times when i would have drowned in endless frustration if not for your timely mediation and comfort.

In short, my life would have been a lesser place without you around.

It's been 3 years eh, but i think it ought start to get fairly interesting from henceforth. You may think it is the hormones talking but heck, i am really feeling like we are in a good place together now.

So continue to walk, hop, skip and jump with me, yes?

Ho Ho Ho.. as your PM said, "More good years ahead!"

:) muaks
xmm

Its the time of the year for reports.

There are about 4 pending assessment reports to complete but good thing is, i am finding writing reports a breeze now that i have found a knack for it. No more long-windy reports, nowadays my reports are more concise and at max, 6-7 pages (it used to be at least 10). Could be shorter still but it depends on my style that day.

Our clinicial supervisor has finally enlightened me about the point of writing psych reports which for the longest time, my previous head did not impart upon us. So I've always been writing a sort of a mixed up behavioural cum psychological report, that's not very clear on what's its objective. The initial change was also abit tough because i was drilled to write long descriptive reports about a child's behaviour and less so of the concise and evaluative report. What finally made sense? When the clinical supervisor asked us, "who is our targetted audience" for reading the report and "what's the purpose". Immediately it led me to think of all those literature essay i used to have to write.

I came from Arts and was in one of the best school with some of the best literature teachers in Singapore (IMHO). They were the ones that started me reading and writing critically about what i've read. I can imagine one of my lecturers rolling over in disgust if i were to show him my psych report now. "Bladderdash!" he would say and "what a load of rubbish!". "What points are you trying to make?", "Why are you such a long-winded gasbag?", "More words doesn't equate more sense!".

So much for good training.

Anyway, time to review and go back to thinking critically again. Good thing is, i am finding this more of a breeze compared to before where i have to constantly find things to justify and over-justify. I used to be proud with how i can write long flowy reports. Now, i find it enjoyable to be succint and make each sentence a professional evaluative one. I still need to improve as i go along but at least i feel that this time, i am moving in the right direction. Funny, how it took me so long to understand what should have been inherent. Guess my brain wasn't quite functioning the way it is supposed to.

二零零七年十月一日的我。

很久没上这播客来了。
近期的我，很没劲，很没心情做任何事。
有一种被约束的感觉。
是一种心灵与身体都被捆绑的压迫感。。。
真让人纳闷！

我有时会搞不清自己究竟想些什么，在干些什么。
日子一天一天的从我的思绪里变得越来越没有目的。
我甚至怀疑我到底是否还记得我自己是谁，自己的梦想是什么。
我想我应该已经忘了。
连自己的日子该这么过都不记得了。

以往不断努力找寻的个人天堂，我还有影像吗？
那种带着无限倔强，理想，抱负，一直不停的相信paradise就在前方的我到哪里去了？

还记得吗？
还想着吗？
停止了吗？
放弃了吗？

一个古老的传说：
梦想还没被遗忘前是能给于拥有它的个人一种无限的力量。而且每个人都能很容易的拥有梦想。可是一旦把梦想遗忘了，就很难的能把它得会来。

被人们遗忘的梦想都没有消失。它们只是象冬眠的花朵，一个个沉睡在遥远的冰雪天国的一所城堡里，等着一个人带着一丝的阳光来把它们从沉睡中唤醒。

那是一个艰辛的旅程，必须越过无数的高山流水，抵挡着极度的寒冷与危险。很多人都在失去梦想后，又在想找回它的路途里，受不了而遗失了自己。很少人能在跌倒后，再爬起来继续他们的旅途找回自己的梦想。这是因为这是神给与人们的一种处罚，一种考验。让人们意识到保护自己梦想的重要性，体会到拥有梦想的可贵。

我的梦想还在吗？

Nevermore!

I swear this will be the last time i help out the organization's training & consultancy thing to do training. Not to 'rubbish' their efforts or anything, but i seriously don't have that much of a good impression of them. Perhaps the unit is too small but the fact that they are trying to 'sell' themselves sometimes make me ask if they 知不知道天高地厚。给我一种口花花的感觉。很wayang.

Back to the training. Supposed to be an easy thing since all the materials/videos are there and the powerpoints etc. I was only to deliver it since F is "unavailable". Seems F's on leave but something that L said also made me wondered if they wanted someone else to do it this time. I hate working 'with' F because of her tardiness in work, being undependable and the flowery language. Took a while for F to send me the powerpoints san videos. F said to send me the video clips etc by the weekend but still nothing on monday. Turned out that she was on leave and in Sentosa. Well, nobody told me. Admin had to hound her for me and when the clips finally came, the footage is unbelievably OLD. The child in the clip has already graduated 2 years ago and the psychologist has quit 5 years ago. I swear the clip was before MY time. I can't believe F has been using these for the training for so long.

The powerpoints' materials needed tweaking too. Too 'showy' and you have to dig for the substance. Bottomline, i am not sure if it will meet up to current needs at all. So much for "just need to deliver". I had to come up with new games, new format of organizing the training and reschedule the sequence just 2 days before (by the time i was confirmed to do this and chasing people for the material, i am almost suppose to be up there already) because i don't want to be up there and get shot as a lousy trainer due to bad materials. Anyway, the training facilities sucked. 30 people crowded into one tiny room the size of my HDB living room. No wonder everyone rated logistics badly.

Next week's part II will be just my stuff i think. I told admin to trash the handouts because I refused to 'own' those materials. Maybe that's why L wanted me to do it, these people seriously need to get in touch with the ground work again and refresh their materials ASAP. And they are still out there training teachers. I doubt i am that fantastic a trainer but frankly, i wouldn't want to sit for their training as a trainee at all. I may not be a good speaker, but one edge i definitely have over them is that i am more in tune with what's happening with the subject matter. Any Tom, Dick or Harry can train from a textbook. Sure, if you can 'perform' from textbook scripts well, you probably don't get that bad a critique but the audience today are a discerning bunch. You got to do more then 'read from the text' well... you jolly well have to know what the heck you are talking about. The true test is always the Q & A, i've seen the rubbish people do at Q & A where the trainers don't even understand the questions and concerns, hence just sweep those aside. Some would just altogether skip this part.

So my opinion is to these people... get back into the game people! Don't just wear a nice suit/dress and stand infront of people talking AS IF you know what's happening out there. Go into the classrooms. Work with a child. Talk to parents. Talk to the teachers. Try implementing those things that you have said THEN come back and tell me that what's you are saying is truly reflecting current reality and needs of the people. And for godsakes... get some NEW video clips!

Sleepless

Lately sleepless nights plagued my existence
filling it up with endless reruns
of someone else's memories
I watched with hallowed eyes
the parade of seamless colours
not knowing when it started and when
it would end.

HK and back...

Finally finished what i had to do for work and took the opportunity to fly to HK for a short visit to see my brothers the weekend before last. Didn't do much except eating and erm more eating (check out our food pix on flickr). We did managed to go up to the peak, sang KTV and watch "Hancock" while there but it was really more for the company of my brothers than touring.

Wilk mentioned that he hoped that next time our kids will be just as close as me and my brothers. I really hope so too. My bros and I don't see each other very often but i really like having them around. I think wilk knows that too and so he was very supportive and took leave to accompany me when i decided on a spur of a moment to fly to HK. Even my dad gave my youngest bro leave from work so that he could spend more time with his sis.

Both my bros are quite different and how i interact with them also differs slightly. My 2nd bro likes to play 'older' brother and its been pretty cool since he 'mellowed' down and i've learnt to appreciate his rather dry and warped humour. These days we still chat everyday on MSN and me bugging him about finding a gf. My youngest bro is a people's person and he will introduce his friends to me and company me to go sing ktv or meals. I sometimes 'bully' him to do things for me but now i only do it on special occasions. He also play mediator whenever i have a tiff with my parents. Perhaps in someways, we are more alike in our perception of things (e.g. relationship and religion). Both of them are crazy about Stephan Chow and i know they often roll their eyes at me when i am missing the 'dialogue' that they sprout to each other. Hey, but at least i catch up, poor wilk is the one ending up wondering what's up with the 3 of us.

Sure, as kids (and even now as adults), we fight and 'squabble' (well more between me and 2nd bro, since 3rd bro is a very VERY tolerant pacifist) but no matter what i do and where i am, they have always been very protective of me. I always tell wilk that my bros means business when they told him that wilk will have to answer to them if he bullies me during their speech at our wedding. But of cos, the two bros really like their bro-in-law too, because i know they always chat him up on MSN whenever they see wilk online, even if its just talking about movies or Naruto comics etc.

I am just very happy that we are the type of siblings that has plenty to share and talk about, and they have also included Wilk as part of the 'gang'. And wilk has also grown to understand the relationship i have with my bros. Well, i am missing the hotpot session and ktv already since i came back last week. I hope they both of them will come back when baby is due but perhaps the next reunion will be in CNY 2009.

Setting a date with the executioner...

If that's what it takes to get my bum off the lazy couch and start on the work that i have been procrastinating on... heck, that's exactly what i'll do.. or i've done.

Ultimately, i really hate having things hanging over my head and trying to pretend that the pile of work didn't exist. I guess i have made enough excuses and truth to be told, i've had help and am feeling better now, also i've pretty much cleared up what i need to clear so there is absolutely no reason why i should still sit on those pile of assignments waiting for me. So i took a deep breath and fixed an appointment with the supervisor next monday evening to go through the marking.

The wonder of having that hourglass tipped over and sand counting down to that particular date! I finished marking one of the assignments for the whole class in 2 hours just now during lunch! Sure, i probably have to go through them again and adjust the marks a little but hell, it sure was a fruitful and intense 2 hours. Since babes helped me with one of the assignments already, that means i just need a couple more hours to finished the last assignment.

This reminds me of a sign i've seen hanging off a colleague's table "The Last Minute is the reason why so many things get done". Hahahahaha thank god for The Last Minute then. Well, i am not proud of myself and i know if i just put my mind to it, i wouldn't have any problems. Perhaps i am just too over-confident that i can do everything and over-reliant on the impertus of 'the last minute'. Seems like i've taken it one step too far with this particular responsibility, pregnancy or no pregnancy.

Guess we all learn something everyday huh? Anyway, if i do forget, someone please stab me if i ever set more than 1 homework for a class of 30, if presuming that i will actually want to take on an extra part-time job as a lecturer again on top of my very full-time job.

Alright... 1 more hour tonight for half of the 3rd assignment, with the rest tomorrow. Since friday i'm on MC, i should do final going through and adjustment of marks then. That leaves saturday and sunday to do any more 'last minute' round-ups i may have neglected over the next 2 days. Sigh. That should do it.

Updates

Just a few updates since i am so erractic with my postings...

1) School finally moved to Yishun and it's byebye Mcnair Rd for good.

Realized that i have never taken a single shot of the school in all my years there. Somehow didn't seem right but before i knew it, keys back with SLA. Oh well. Funny thing is, i actually dreamt of the old school compound last week. Have never dreamt of school before so that's a first. Compared to the old school, the new school is BIG and perhaps it's new, so there are still alot of things not quite in place yet. The walkways are designed poorly. Whenever it rains, the pavements will be wet and water will gather at the ramp due to the barely-there 'shelter'.

And we have been getting 'floods' off the garden, onto the pavement when there is a downpour because there isn't any divider high enough to block off the rainwater and the drainage seems very slow. Ended up with earthworms and other creepy-crawlies stranded on the pavement. The principal thought it was a good idea to gather them up and sell them to the bird shops or to go fishing. I think they better come up with a solution soon or the cleaning aunties will be having a fit soon.

The new place is also alot 'hotter' because now we are stuck in the middle of a housing estate while previously we had alot of space around us to generate breezes. We looked like we have more room but some teachers are wondering if there are enough space in the classrooms for 3 teachers and 9 kids. Oh well... it is all going to be clearer once school reopens on the 23rd. My dept is not quite unpacked because the shelves and filing system i've asked for are not in yet. So still quite a bit of boxes lying around but at least the tables are in and internet is up. Guess everyone is gearing up for opening day. Its going to be all hands on deck that day, what with the health screening and doh, did i mention that quite a number of rooms for kids are not ready (e.g. gym, soft play etc). Haha well, we will survive. We always almost do. :)

2) I've finally started marking the assignments.

All thanks to babes for helping out or i would have died a terrible death. Made my life alot easier while i tried to cope over this couple of weeks. Still, there are some presentations which i am marking myself, on top of that, i am also finally completing some overdue reports. At least now i have the energy to get something going until a couple of weeks ago. Which is probably why i can actually blog now. Hahaha. Well, i am optimistic since i've always by hook or by crook, get things done in the last minute (but i don't make that a standard practice okie, its just ermm... the circumstances these days). Anyway, will have to make an appointment to see the course coordinator to go through the marking. Am targetting sometime in july when i tie up the loose ends.

3) Okie. Finally. Well. For those who already know, guess its no big deal. For those who don't already know, i guess its no biggie either.

Wilk and I are going to be parents come Dec 2008. Looks like i got my wish for a little baby 'Rat' after all. :)

Marking Assignments

I've not started yet!!

I can't even bring myself to look at the mountain piling next to my table.

Everytime i do, i get a headache.

At this rate, i am willing to pay anyone who can tackle them for me.

argh.

All done as "Lecturer"

Last night was the final session at Ngee Ann, though i did say that it has been tiring, on the whole, i quite enjoy the sessions with the trainees. One of them gave me a thank you card and i was pretty touched. So far feedback has been positive from the trainees regarding the way i lecture and i guess if i need to quit and take on another job, lecturing may not be too bad a deal. Despite all my complains about doing training etc, i do have this need to 'teach' and share whenever i am up in the front of the room. Definintely not one of the bo chup or scare to talk to crowd type. Just that the responsibility of making sure everyone in class 'gets' what i am teaching, can be tiring. And i am the sort who will bend over backwards to do so.

Anyway, i am not saying that i have a flair to teach, but i do have a need to share. Most of them seemed to like the idea that i don't do the top-down approach when lecturing except of one trainee who commented that i shouldn't be too friendly because it looks unprofessional. I guess i have never looked very 'lecturer-like' in my get-up and mannerism but i think this trainee might have been used to a different type of educational style because i don't think that being approachable and friendly necessary means unprofessional. Oh well, you cant win them all.

Now on with the marking... *groan*

Onwards still...

It is monday again and i am not feeling chirpy at all though i suspect things will get better as the week passes.

Feeling a little under the weather physically and my mental stamina is also being tested. First off, having to vet someone else's report makes me want to bite something or someone badly. After so long, the improvements are still so minimal. You prod once, they move once. At least this time the report is on time instead of being 2-3weeks late. I hate marking reports. Which sort of reminds me, i have a stack of them waiting for me at home from the batch at Ngee Ann. 27 students and 3 assignments each. What was i thinking? Thank god, its only two more sessions and its adios amigos!

Fio is on MC today and all the SWs are on-course. Looks like its me myself at lunch. There is a new MT with us and she seems very nice. She was originally from Taiwan but has migrated to New Zealand and studied there. Had joined us for lunch last week so maybe i will go be 'social' later if i am feeling up to it but i think chances are remote if i am continuing to vet this report. Up to a point, i think i should just write the bloody thing myself.

Some parents have been driving us (school that is) collectively, up the wall. And then there is that internal dept thing which i will have to face later at dept meeting in the other school. Man, i wish i didnt have to come to work today but it will just mean more shit tomorrow. The trick is to space out the shitty stuff so that it will be easier to manage. Unless of course, there are days when the shit piles up sky high and no matter what it do, its all gonna come crashing down.

Damn. All this talk about shit makes me want to go to toilet and puke. I need a MC.

Lecturing

Starting my stint as a guest lecturer at one of the advance diploma course ran by RCTC and Ngee Ann Poly. Twice a week, 7 to 10pm after work for 5 weeks. Quite tired by the end of the day but i think so far it has been quite a positive experience.

True that there is a lot of work to be done such as preparing the slides, planning & writing out the assignment, reading up and doing the notes, liasing with the coordinator for print-outs and just last night, i had a teaching observation done by the supervisor of the program. But it has been great learning for me as well and it does broaden my perspective because these are adult learners from different centres and kingergartens.

However, i am having a bit of a trouble balancing the lecturing and my own work in school. I am usually quite tired (now more so than ever) and it really takes great effort to juggling all my responsibilities on top of solving others' problems. I must say though, some colleagues at work (some whom i wouldnt have thought could), has been a great help with supporting the program and kids, and working really well together with me. Was a bit surprised but in some ways, i think we all grow and change. I think HOP being on course has been a great learning experience of some of these other senior teachers. One thing that has been affirmed... some people are just much better at being supervisors than teachers, and vice versa. Well, in any case, i am pretty happy and felt quite supported as a team.

Anyway, lecturing will be done by the 24th when the trainees have to do their assignment presentations. I will not be missing the late nights and preparation work, but i think i will miss the interactions. I am NOT looking forward to making their assignments though. 28 trainees and 2 assignments each. Woah. No joke. I have to go dig out my own training with SIM's Open Uni tutor course which i had to undergo when i got a job helping them to tutor the open Uni's course. It's similar type of standard of marking and it has to be really detailed.

In the mean time, i will just try to cope for the next 3 weeks and i still have 2 more lectures to prepare before i am done. Sigh...

Fly away...

Another psych has left the dept. This time round it was someone fairly new who has been with us for just slightly more than a year. The reason which she was leaving was that she has found a better job working in one of the top JCs in singapore as a specialist teacher. I am actually happy for her because she will do well in a job like that and i think it will appeal to her strengths. Besides, she has been thinking of starting up a family and moving to the states with her hubby for studies in another year or so, so i guess her one year contract with the JC fits right into her plan.

However, it is very much our dept's loss now that she has gone. She was a conscientious worker, very responsible and takes initiative to do things. As her supervisor.. i must say, i don't really have to supervise much on her timeliness, responsibility and general work attitude. Makes life easier for me too. So now that she has gone, i am definitely feeling that pinch like when fei left, except i guess it is less personal.

On the personal front, MH has always been a really interesting character, one that at times, boggles my mind because of her personality and way of thinking. I used to think that it will be tough for us to be friends because we are so different in our outlook, but slowly, i think she has, if i can used the word, "endeared" herself to us. I still find it mind-boggling the way she deals with her personal life and at times, i literally slap my forehead for the things she say to parents (let's just say that she is too straight-forward, and need some help with reading people's emotions). But, i am missing her presence at lunch time and that funny laugh of hers because, like it or not, she does make a pretty solid impact.

I acknowledge sometimes i am a little nasty and the stories i tell about her aren't always the most flattering. I do apologize for that. Despite the many grafts and boo-boos, at the bottomline, she is a sweet kid. A little too naive for her own good (but her hubby should be happy about that) but that makes her pretty unique. I still don't agree with a lot of the kind of personal decisions and ideas she has, but i do like her as a person and am grateful for her help while she was here, of which she was most giving.

So, adios MH.
Hope that life in your greener pasture will work out just the way you like it.

Birthday!

Turned 32 on 1st of march.
This year i resolved to celebrate my birthday cheerfully because i am going to try this for a change... I am going to be an optimist this year.

Yaps.
I am going to cut down on my whining and grumbling and take full control of my own emotions and attitude.

I am going to be Positive.. with a capital P!

I am going to be so optimistic that people will find me irritating and think that i am gullible or naive. But I would know that all i am doing is that i am actively going to change the world that i live in first by controlling my own attitude and outlook.

Haha!

I am going to be conscious of how i feel and be proactive in making sure that life does not get me down. If there is a change to be made, i want to be the first to say that I am not fazed by it. HoHoHO... i am going to be that happy, smiley, +++ person that tells everyone that things are going to be A OK.

I may sound crazy but i am not.
Like i said on my birthday... i like to eat crabs for my bday because if my bday is going to be crabby... things are only going to look up from there. Hahaha...

Babies on parade

Must be the time of the year.. some pollen in the air or something but these days i feel like i am living in Baby Central. People giving birth to the left and right of me, 1st months and birthdays celebrations, gatherings and.. and.. and.. There isn't a moment when i am not in a 'baby zone'. These days i spent more money buying baby gifts than i spent on food.

Can't wait for CNY to be over.

Busy Weekend

Just spent a crazy weekend..

peed at by a student and forgot my phone
having big dinner with 40-50 colleagues at an indian buffet restaurant
listening to jazz at regent hotel
shuttling between homes and drinking chicken soup at midnight
gym
meeting friends
shopping at ikea
more shuttling between homes
good friend's baby 1st month celebrations
meeting more babies and more kids
looking for chinese new year goodies
more shuttling between homes and dinner

That's not to mentioned that there are tons of other things which i am supposed to do and have not yet..

spring cleaning
decoration for cny
visiting in laws
buying groceries
baking cookies
calling and meeting up with contractor to make cushions
planning my training materials for two up coming workshop (one of which is in mandarin)

I realized... weekends don't exist anymore for me.

What's to be...

More and more, I began to fear what it would be for me.
About wanting something and in the end having to accept that it is not mine to have.
Ultimately facing a possibility which i have till now, never quite considered.
My fear immense and at times, loneliness at feeling this on my own drives me to tears in the middle of a crowded place.

Laisan's Last Day

Today's Laisan's last day at work...
hate to say it but.. man, time really passes damn fast.

Think she got quite a bit of presents and a really scrumptious (at least i think so) farewell lunch on tuesday and of course, quite a bit of sabo today too. She had paints dunked on her head by the teachers and the therapists didn't let up when we caught her unaware with pails of water (spiked with gold dust) near the cabins by tricking her there.

All in all, plenty of good fun and some of us had to get wet along with her. One could tell how people really liked her because of all the 'attention' she has gotten, and also how people have thought of her as a good sport because of the tricks they played. Afterall, people would have second thoughts if they think that the person they are 'sabo-ing' cannot 'take' the joke. I think Laisan should be really happy with herself at her first job, with the kind of impression she had made upon the people here.

Anyways, it is always goodbyes here these days... and that's sort of depressing. So allow me to make a positive note to Laisan at the end of this..

Hello to new experiences
Hello to broader horizons
Hello to higher aspirations
and
Hello to a new beginning

New Year 2008

Spent new year's eve and new year in the company of friends. Held two little gatherings and tried my hand at making some edible food. Must say that my lasagna and 'le orange' red sausages with white wine stew (erm.. own concoction) didn't turn out too badly...

My new year wishes for 2008...

What i want is have another chance to soar through the clouds again.
Even if metaphorically.

I want to do something crazy and daring while i am still able to control my own fear before it starts to control me. It seems to do that as age catches on. I believe it has something to do with the impeding knowledge of one's mortality. Well, before that day comes, i hope to try more stuff that challenges those fears.

I hope 2008 will be a year of changes and chances for me. A chance for adventure, a change from the mundane. I know that it will only be possible if i make the change myself and i hope that this is something which i will not fail to do.

Wishing all, a happy new year and the beauty of living.